ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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