never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
