Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
