You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
