I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize