It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
