I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize