just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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