Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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