I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
