She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
