Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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