Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
