i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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