You work out of a Hotel?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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