So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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