Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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