do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I touched a dick in church today
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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