1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Houston, we have a blender
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
