i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize