He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Buhtt sex?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
