Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
