just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
