i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
