the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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