Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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