I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
