They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My vagina just recognized that song.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
