I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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