Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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