I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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