Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
