Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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