I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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