is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
