In the future we'll all be gay
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You ate ashes out of my bong
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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