you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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