did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
