I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
BRING THE BAGELS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
