Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
