I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
