Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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