do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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