hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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