after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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You are the jesus of drinking
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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