Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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