my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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