She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im holly from the hills drunk
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize