I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
