I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
