I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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