If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize