in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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