I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
