My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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