Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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