South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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