oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
