exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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