she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
