if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
