Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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