So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
