Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
