this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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