Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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