UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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